I know we all have difficult days with our children, but this past weekend was especially hard for my son and I. Saturday he had a birthday party, which is always a difficult day for more than one reason, and he was a bit hopped up on sugar and had a hard time controlling is behavior. When days like that happen, we tend to fight a lot. Mostly we fight because he decides he does not need to listen and that is never acceptable in our house. Sunday was also difficult, starting with church. Usually during our church services the children go to their own program called Worship and Wonder and during the month of August this program takes a break (mostly to give the leaders of that program a much needed break) and our children are left to be in church service with us. Since my son is not used to this and does not always do well with changes in his routine (he has often been called Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory show, check it out and see how my son will be when he is older) he has a hard time controlling his behavior in church. The rest of the day kind of went down hill from there until bedtime.
On days like this I often sit back and try to figure out where I went wrong during the day. This is very hard for me since in my mind I am NEVER wrong. These days I often feel as if I have failed my son somewhere in the day. I know that rationally this is not all my fault, but I also know that part of the issue is how I react to my child's behavior. I have read books, articles and other people's blogs looking for answers to my woes. There is one thing that is true everyday, it is not easy to change anyone's behavior, especially my own. I will be the first person to tell you that I am not a perfect parent and I often get very frustrated with my child. I also wear my emotions on my sleeve and he knows exactly how I am feeling at any given time. I think he often sees that and plays me. This will then make the frustration worse. I am still working on this and when we are by ourselves life is much easier, when we are around other people he really amps it up a notch and knows how to throw me into a tailspin.
Thank goodness I love him dearly!! I am sure that is why God makes babies so cute and makes us instantly fall in love with them. Children as such a blessing and such a pain in the ass all wrapped in a cute, cuddly, loving package.