Thursday, March 31, 2011

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for Herbal Tea. I know this is a shallow choice but when you are going through a weight loss program you find all the little things to be thankful for each day. Herbal tea is actually helping me out so much on this program. I have always been a big soda drinker (mostly diet soda), but since I have discovered my new love for herbal tea I am a changed woman. I drink water all day at work and when I get home at night I just want something with some flavor. If you are also going through a weight loss program or just want to change things up a bit, I highly recommend trying your favorite flavor of herbal tea hot or iced!


Monday, March 28, 2011

McFatty Monday Update this past week was difficult. I am trying not to point the finger and take responsibility. I was home all week with my son on spring break. My son is five and has an incredibly fast metabolism, therefore he asks for a snack every 20-30 min of the day. This forces me to go to the kitchen all day long and get him snacks. Of course I am not going as often as he would like, but every time I go pour him some goldfish crackers or pretzels I take a couple for myself. I did end up losing .5 pounds this week which is great. Playing at the park with him was probably the reason I actually lost weight.

Now I am back to work and my regular eating schedule is back on track. I find it easier at work too since I am so busy, I actually forget to eat at times. This is also not good since I need to consume all my points each day. This is my second time through Weight Watchers and I have to say I am learning much more about nutrition and how my body reacts to the food I eat this time around. This time is not just about losing weight, it is about changing my relationship with food in general. I have a skirt that I really want to get back in this summer. I have it sitting on my dresser as a daily reminder of a goal. I am not a huge scale person, I measure my success far more by how my clothes fit and what clothes I can fit into.

Week three is going to be easier and better on the scale! Happy McFatty Monday Everyone!!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Thankful Thursday

My Boys are the Best
As I sit here at home this week on spring break with my son, I remember all the things I am thankful for. I am thankful for the freedom I am afforded by living in this great country. I am thankful to have a safe place to live and food on my table each night. I am thankful to have a wonderful husband that loves me (even if I am 90 pounds overweight) and a happy, healthy child. I am thankful to have a great loving family (aunts, uncles, cousins, and all my in-laws). I am thankful for my faith in god and all he sees me through. These are the things I am thankful for each day of my life, but since I am counting points for WW, most of all today I am thankful for enough points to have a yummy snack tonight!!

Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Losing weight is making me crazy...

I began my weight loss journey at Weight Watchers (which will be called WW) a week and a half ago and my Aunt Jackie is going with me so we can support each other and help keep the other on track. I started out at 242 with a 37 BMI which throws me in to the obese category.  I have never thought of myself as obese; overweight or heavy, yes; but not obese. My goal is to get down to 150 which will bring my BMI to 23. This seems like such a daunting and impossible task, but I have broken it up into smaller goals so I am not so overwhelmed. Last week I lost 2 pounds which is great and if I can keep that up each week it will only take me 11 or so months to lose all this weight. Holy Shit!! Did I just say 11 months????? I know this is much better than the alternative which will be a heart attack or stroke but OMG that is a long time.

At WW they say that you should not think of this as a diet, this is a lifestyle change. This is the hardest concept for me right now because I have thought of changes like this as a diet for so long. I, like most humans, do not like change. I like all the foods that put me in this position: chocolate, ice cream, doughnuts, lots of cheese, anything made with white flour, and cheesecake! The biggest problem is that I liked that list of items too much and too often. There have already been days where I just want to say “eff this” and go eat a big plate of Mexican food smothered in green chili and cheese, wash it down with a beer and have a fried ice cream at the end (not that I have my cheat meal planned or anything).

Today I was frustrated because I went to lunch with my mom at Garbanzo and had what I thought was a “healthy” meal but it ended up costing me 19 of my 32 daily points. Once I calculated this, the wind left my sails for the day. Now I am talking myself off the ledge so I don’t jump into chocolate land. I know tomorrow is a whole new day and will begin with 32 more points and a new attitude (I hope).

Monday, March 21, 2011

Parenthood is harder than I thought!

When I was a child all I wanted to be when I grew up was a mommy. I was the best mommy to my dolls, changed their clothes in the morning and at bedtime. They had car seats in my mom’s car and their own beds in my room. This is how I imagined my life would be when I was seven years old.

The day we brought our beautiful son, Ethan, home from the hospital, I quickly realized it was much more than “playing” with dolls. He was a real person that we were now responsible for keeping alive. Thank god my husband had one month paternity leave and he was not off to work the next day leaving me with a hungry, crying, pooping being. Don’t get me wrong, I was so happy to be a mother; but, I was scared! I am sure this is how most parents feel when they bring home their first child. Nothing had gone as I had hoped at the end of my pregnancy. I had a beautiful “natural” birth plan. I was going to tough it out with no epidural and very little pain meds as possible. Then I would go home with a perfect little boy who would be the best breast feeder ever know to man. I guess my plan was not in sync with the bigger plan. I ended up with a C-section because my blood pressure was too high to attempt a natural birth. Then there was breast feeding. I quickly learned that this was one of the hardest tasks in the world!! I had a lactation consultant come in and try to help me out, she pinched me, manipulated me and told me that I would need a special contraption to help with breastfeeding. WRONG! This was not the plan I had, so I began to pump and feed our son with a bottle. I was the first time (though not the last) I felt like a failure as a mother.

There I was, sitting on the floor of our dining room, holding my four day old baby, water pouring from the ceiling of our laundry room (from the condo above us) and my husband on the phone telling me that the doctor that discharged me had given me the wrong person’s paper prescription for my pain meds and the only medication she could call in for me was one that was not as strong. The tears began to fall and they were uncontrollable. Thank god for my wonderful husband, he did all he could and got me calmed down. The days went on and we quickly figured out that we had a wonderful, laid back baby. He slept well. He ate well. He was just a good baby!!

As for all parents, life has moved quickly. By the time I went back to work he was sleeping through the night (feel free to cuss us out now). My plan was back on track. His first birthday came and went; he hit all the milestones at just the right time. We made it through the “terrible twos” with no problem. Three was not a very hard age either. We were moving along with the notion that we had a perfectly happy, well behaved child. Then we hit four.  My child seemed to turn a very sharp corner. He turned into a “real” boy and with that came real boy energy. Where had my sweet, cuddly little boy gone? He was replaced by a back-talking, screaming, tantrum throwing spawn of a demon.

I remember thinking that the hard years would be the teenage years. I knew we had a long time to prepare ourselves for this time. I was not prepared for this to happen at age four. This would be a whole year (maybe a little more) of feeling like a failing parent. It was so hard for me to accept that I could not control my child’s behavior at home. He is now five and we still struggle weekly with some of the same behavior, but by in large it has gotten much better. THANK GOD FOR PRESCHOOL!!