Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Losing weight is making me crazy...

I began my weight loss journey at Weight Watchers (which will be called WW) a week and a half ago and my Aunt Jackie is going with me so we can support each other and help keep the other on track. I started out at 242 with a 37 BMI which throws me in to the obese category.  I have never thought of myself as obese; overweight or heavy, yes; but not obese. My goal is to get down to 150 which will bring my BMI to 23. This seems like such a daunting and impossible task, but I have broken it up into smaller goals so I am not so overwhelmed. Last week I lost 2 pounds which is great and if I can keep that up each week it will only take me 11 or so months to lose all this weight. Holy Shit!! Did I just say 11 months????? I know this is much better than the alternative which will be a heart attack or stroke but OMG that is a long time.

At WW they say that you should not think of this as a diet, this is a lifestyle change. This is the hardest concept for me right now because I have thought of changes like this as a diet for so long. I, like most humans, do not like change. I like all the foods that put me in this position: chocolate, ice cream, doughnuts, lots of cheese, anything made with white flour, and cheesecake! The biggest problem is that I liked that list of items too much and too often. There have already been days where I just want to say “eff this” and go eat a big plate of Mexican food smothered in green chili and cheese, wash it down with a beer and have a fried ice cream at the end (not that I have my cheat meal planned or anything).

Today I was frustrated because I went to lunch with my mom at Garbanzo and had what I thought was a “healthy” meal but it ended up costing me 19 of my 32 daily points. Once I calculated this, the wind left my sails for the day. Now I am talking myself off the ledge so I don’t jump into chocolate land. I know tomorrow is a whole new day and will begin with 32 more points and a new attitude (I hope).

3 comments:

  1. Good job. My husband and I have done so many things to loose weight I think we are at the point of done. We consulted with a weight loss surgeon a few weeks ago and have put the wheels in motion. I commend you and wish you the best on your journey. We have to change our whole thought process too. Its something that is so important for our children to learn early so they don't go through it too.

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  2. Thanks for the comment Jody! Good luck to you guys as well with your weight loss. Surgery is not a personal option for me so I will be doing this the old fashion way.The hardest part for me is fitting in so exercise because of our crazy schedule but I am working on it.

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  3. Don't give up, Jenni!! You can do it!! :)

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