Easing His Fears!!

This past weekend my husband and I took a trip to our local fire station to help ease some anxiety in our little boy. 

A few weeks ago, I was making some toast in our house and burnt it a little and that set off the smoke detectors in our house. This raised my son's level of anxiety to high alert, so much that he would not walk to his room by himself because he had to pass under the smoke detector to get there. This made me feel bad because I don't want him to be afraid of things in our home. This was also annoying because that meant he stopped doing things on his own the he had been doing for quite a while, like getting dressed in the morning and evening and even going potty by himself. 

We decided to make a trip to the fire station in our town. We actually have 4 fire stations but decided to go to the main fire station because it is the "coolest" and pictured above. 

The fire fighters were great! They brought him into the station and talked to him about the importance of smoke detectors and overall fire safety. He actually got to push the test button on the smoke detector and hear the noise (even though he heard it when I burnt toast). They talked about what needs to happen when they go off and what he needs to know when he calls 911.  I guess we need to work on remembering our address!! 

If any of you mamas out there have a child that has anxiety around these type of topics, I highly encourage you to take your kiddo to the fire station and make a fun learning moment out of it.  Ethan's favorite part was that he got to sit up in the fire truck and got a CRFD badge sticker! (yes, I forgot to take the darn camera!!) I love that we  have such great heroes in our community that can be great influences on our children!!

Children are a gift

I know that all the people who read my blog know that children are a gift and I also know that most rational people in the world know that children are a gift. This blog entry is about all the asshole parents out there that treat their kids like a burden in life.  As some of you know, I work at a non-profit that has a school and residential center for children who have been abused and neglected.  This is not the easiest place to work at times. Luckily I am in the fundraising department and I don't often have to witness the anger and anguish the children we serve go through.

Today was one of the days I am reminded why I work here. There was a little boy crying and and yelling in the hallway outside my office. The kids often yell and scream because they don't get their way or someone made them mad, just like all kids, but thier reaction is amplified. This happens more often than I like to say but today sounded different. The boy in the hall today sounded like his heart was broken, he kept repeating that he wanted to go home with her. I decided to ask someone why he was having such a hard time. I was told he was upset because his mother did not show up to visit him today for thier therapy session. I can't imagine how hurt that boy felt but you could hear it in his voice.

Since we serve children from age 5-18 I often see a child that is the same age as my son and that is always hard for me. I can't imagine my little man being in a place like this, not tucking him in each night, not hugging him each day, not talking to him about his day. I know I have blogged about Ethan's behavior and there are days I am at my whits end with him but I know in my heart that there is no greater gift than my son and I just wish all parents felt the same way. I would gladly give up my job (becuase there would not be any need to fundraise for the kids) if all the parents of our kids here would just know what a gift thier children are and step up and be a real parent. Don't forget, everyone can make a difference in the life of a child. If you are a parent, hug you child extra tonight. If you are not a parent, maybe try volunteering to read to a child or sit with a sick child in the hospital. I promise your life will be enriched just as much as thier's.



My All Time Favorite Picture of My Gift!



Weekend Craziness!!

I know we all have difficult days with our children, but this past weekend was especially hard for my son and I. Saturday he had a birthday party, which is always a difficult day for more than one reason, and he was a bit hopped up on sugar and had a hard time controlling is behavior. When days like that happen, we tend to fight a lot. Mostly we fight because he decides he does not need to listen and that is never acceptable in our house. Sunday was also difficult, starting with church. Usually during our church services the children go to their own program called Worship and Wonder and during the month of August this program takes a break (mostly to give the leaders of that program a much needed break) and our children are left to be in church service with us. Since my son is not used to this and does not always do well with changes in his routine (he has often been called Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory show, check it out and see how my son will be when he is older) he has a hard time controlling his behavior in church. The rest of the day kind of went down hill from there until bedtime. 

On days like this I often sit back and try to figure out where I went wrong during the day. This is very hard for me since in my mind I am NEVER wrong. These days I often feel as if I have failed my son somewhere in the day.  I know that rationally this is not all my fault, but I also know that part of the issue is how I react to my child's behavior. I have read books, articles and other people's blogs looking for answers to my woes. There is one thing that is true everyday, it is not easy to change anyone's behavior, especially my own. I will be the first person to tell you that I am not a perfect parent and I often get very frustrated with my child. I also wear my emotions on my sleeve and he knows exactly how I am feeling at any given time. I think he often sees that and plays me. This will then make the frustration worse. I am still working on this and when we are by ourselves life is much easier, when we are around other people he really amps it up a notch and knows how to throw me into a tailspin.  

Thank goodness I love him dearly!! I am sure that is why God makes babies so cute and makes us instantly fall in love with them. Children as such a blessing and such a pain in the ass all wrapped in a cute, cuddly, loving package. 

No Recess For Some

There was an article on MSNBC this weekend about how some school districts are cutting down or even cutting out recess for kids in school. You can read the full article here. It is so sad to think that schools are under so much pressure to perform that they are forgetting their main focus....the kids! I for one am a huge believer in recess for children in elementary school. My son who just started kindergarten would not be a happy camper if he was in class all day with no outdoor play. Since we live in Colorado, the kids play outside most days. In fact at his school, the temp has to be below 20 degrees before they play inside. I love this policy! My son is a kid that really needs to get outside each day and run off some energy. I can't imagine our drive home, even when he was in preschool and at the babysitter's house, and not asking him what games he played outside that day. This is a huge place for him to play out his imagination. He comes home with so many stories about what he and his friends played that day, along with what he did in class too. 

I have to say that this year Ethan is blessed to be in a school that values play time outside. Each day he gets a morning recess, some recess time after lunch and an afternoon recess. He does go to after school care at his school but the first thing they do when the begin that time is have some free play time, most of the time in the gym since there are still other kids milling around the playground. I am sure this is helpful for not only the kids to get the wiggles out but for the teachers running the classes and programs to help focus the kids on the tasks they need to accomplish. Ethan's school also makes sure that all the classes get to go to P.E. twice a week and I am so grateful for that as well. With the fact that my hubby and I both have to work full time and Ethan has care after school, there are some days with very little time to play outside when we get home. I can only hope that this policy at his school remains in effect through his tenure because I would be so sad to see the schools cut things like this since they have already had to cut other programs. One great website you can also go to and get great ideas on how to make sure your kids grow up healthy is Michele Obama's Let's Move that can be found here. 

First Day of Kindergarten

Looking nervous on first day

Today was a HUGE day in our household. It was Ethan's first day of Kindergarten. Last year he went to Preschool and I did really well sending him there. However, this morning was hard for me. I think the difference for me was at his Preschool it was only preschool kids. There did not seem to be much of a threat from 3-5 year-old kids. But this year is different, he is in Elementary School. His school is K-6th and I think that made me realize he is really in a big kid school! 

He was so ready to start school. We have spent several weeks shopping for the perfect backpack, lunchbox and all the required school supplies. Yesterday we went to his school for an orientation with his teacher and walked around to see where some of the things in the school are located.  Last night he had a hard time going to sleep because he was just so excited to begin school.

This morning he woke up with the first bit of light that came into his room. Usually I have to remind him to go use the potty, but this morning he went right there and also decided he wanted to also brush his teeth while in there. I got up just in time to tell him that he needed to eat breakfast before he brushed his teeth. Once we got to the school, we took the pictures that all parents take on first day of school and went down to line up for his class. Once his teacher came out to get his class, he began to walk away, with out hugging or kissing us. We had to call to him and ask for hugs and kisses and he obliged. He could not understand why I had tears in my eyes. There he went, off to "big kid" school. I cried all the way back to the car, my hubby kept snickering at me while I was crying.  This has been such a big milestone in our family and now we are just praying we all get acclimated to the new schedule quickly, for all of our sanity! 

Full Outfit in front of Kindergarten Playground

The backpack - it took so long to find this!

Midweek Randoms - CRAZY TOWN!!

Everyone who reads this blog knows that I love my son very much. He is one of the many joys in my life. With that said, MY SON HAS ME ON A ONE WAY ROAD TO CRAZY TOWN!!  Let me also preface that with, it is not a very long drive to get me to Crazy Town, I tend to reside half way there all on my own.

For those of you who have younger children let me just prepare you a little. Once you child is around 5 (Ethan started some of this at 4) and/or starting Pre-School they will become a know-it-all. This is a problem in my house only because there is typically only room for one know-it-all in any house and that position is already occupied by ME!  This often makes life tense and my son and I argue quite a bit. I think it is mostly due to the fact that while my son got all his great looks from my husband, he inherited his personality mostly from me, with a little Brian sprinkled in here and there too.  We are very much alike in the way we think and react to situations.

The biggest issue we are having right now is the listening.  He has decided that he does not have to listen to us and he can do what he wants, when he wants.  I am very glad he is a strong person with his own personality but, he really needs to listen. There is only so much reasoning you can actually do with a 5 year-old before he just starts to ignore you.

If there are parents out there who have any ideas, tips, tricks they use I would be very glad to entertain them and report back on whether they worked for us.  The only comfort is that I know I will have friends who will also be driven to Crazy Town and we can all sit around and drink chat with each other.

When did my little boy grow up??

I still remember the day we took this picture, he was so little still (about 10 months old) and this was the first time he fell asleep in our bed. I miss the days when he was this little and all he wanted to do was cuddle with us.

In the last week it seems he has grown by leaps and bounds. Last week he came home and called me into the bathroom. When I went in the bathroom to see what he needed he told me, "look mommy, I can now stand and go peepee!" I praised him for his new skill and quietly died a little inside. That same day he decided he did not need the step stool at the sink to wash his hands and he could complete this task "All By Himself." WHAT?? You don't want me there to help and make sure they really get clean? Then a few days later he was in the bathroom washing his hands and then yelled from the bathroom, "Mom, I'm gonna brush my teeth!" which I replied, "Ok, I'm on my way to come help." to which he replied, "No, I can do this myself!" Ok, now I am freaking out a little bit. Just last week I was doing all these tasks for him and now he does not need me there to help. I guess I have taught him well and he can do these things by himself but I don't think I was prepared for him to grow up all in one week.

Next week we have his graduation from Pre-School and that is another big step for him that I have known was coming but am still not quite ready to face. I still miss my little man that was always so happy to see me come in his room in the morning. Now he comes out of his room and begins demanding food and cartoons from me first thing.  This is the month I guess I have to say good-bye to my little baby and say hello to my big boy.

Single Parents ~ How Do They Do It?

As many of you know, I am an only child who was raised by a wonderful single mom. All of my aunts at one time or another were also single parents to my cousins. I just want to know how they did it for so long.

This week I had a horrible stomach bug that had me down for the count for two days. My hubby works until 9:00 most nights and I have been a faux "Single Mom" four nights a week since he went back to work. Those nights have their ups and downs as they will with a strong-willed 5 year-old boy. This past Tuesday was a true test to my strength. This was day one of the stomach bug and it was in full effect, if you know what I mean. At 4:30 that afternoon, I finally mustered up enough energy to pick Ethan up from the sitter's house. By the time we got home, I was totally exhausted. I sat on my couch thinking, "How do single mothers do this?" How do they find the energy to do this by themselves while they are sick? My poor son had to be a very big boy that night because I had just enough energy to make him a peanut butter sandwich for dinner. He had to get himself dressed for bed, pick up all his toys by himself among other tasks I typically assist him with each night. He was quite the trooper and had a little empathy for his poor sick mommy, but mostly kept on asking when I would not be sick anymore.

I never really recall times when my mom was sick but I am sure I was helpful just like my son was that night for me. I am so grateful to not be taking this parenthood journey all on my own. I admire all the women out there that do take this journey on their own and hope to someday find the strength within myself that they have. Let’s all give a huge cheer for all the single moms out there; they are some of the strongest women in the world I know!

Parenthood is harder than I thought!

When I was a child all I wanted to be when I grew up was a mommy. I was the best mommy to my dolls, changed their clothes in the morning and at bedtime. They had car seats in my mom’s car and their own beds in my room. This is how I imagined my life would be when I was seven years old.

The day we brought our beautiful son, Ethan, home from the hospital, I quickly realized it was much more than “playing” with dolls. He was a real person that we were now responsible for keeping alive. Thank god my husband had one month paternity leave and he was not off to work the next day leaving me with a hungry, crying, pooping being. Don’t get me wrong, I was so happy to be a mother; but, I was scared! I am sure this is how most parents feel when they bring home their first child. Nothing had gone as I had hoped at the end of my pregnancy. I had a beautiful “natural” birth plan. I was going to tough it out with no epidural and very little pain meds as possible. Then I would go home with a perfect little boy who would be the best breast feeder ever know to man. I guess my plan was not in sync with the bigger plan. I ended up with a C-section because my blood pressure was too high to attempt a natural birth. Then there was breast feeding. I quickly learned that this was one of the hardest tasks in the world!! I had a lactation consultant come in and try to help me out, she pinched me, manipulated me and told me that I would need a special contraption to help with breastfeeding. WRONG! This was not the plan I had, so I began to pump and feed our son with a bottle. I was the first time (though not the last) I felt like a failure as a mother.

There I was, sitting on the floor of our dining room, holding my four day old baby, water pouring from the ceiling of our laundry room (from the condo above us) and my husband on the phone telling me that the doctor that discharged me had given me the wrong person’s paper prescription for my pain meds and the only medication she could call in for me was one that was not as strong. The tears began to fall and they were uncontrollable. Thank god for my wonderful husband, he did all he could and got me calmed down. The days went on and we quickly figured out that we had a wonderful, laid back baby. He slept well. He ate well. He was just a good baby!!

As for all parents, life has moved quickly. By the time I went back to work he was sleeping through the night (feel free to cuss us out now). My plan was back on track. His first birthday came and went; he hit all the milestones at just the right time. We made it through the “terrible twos” with no problem. Three was not a very hard age either. We were moving along with the notion that we had a perfectly happy, well behaved child. Then we hit four.  My child seemed to turn a very sharp corner. He turned into a “real” boy and with that came real boy energy. Where had my sweet, cuddly little boy gone? He was replaced by a back-talking, screaming, tantrum throwing spawn of a demon.

I remember thinking that the hard years would be the teenage years. I knew we had a long time to prepare ourselves for this time. I was not prepared for this to happen at age four. This would be a whole year (maybe a little more) of feeling like a failing parent. It was so hard for me to accept that I could not control my child’s behavior at home. He is now five and we still struggle weekly with some of the same behavior, but by in large it has gotten much better. THANK GOD FOR PRESCHOOL!!